I am a passionate entrepreneur, digital strategist, social scientist and farmhand / vineyard cultivator.
10 Sep
This series of posts is a long time coming. One that has taken over a year of blogging and four years of post-college/post-thesis work for me to come to a place where I was read to share in such a open space. As trivial as it may sound, putting forth these stories are not without reservation. Many of you who read this blog, I know personally, but some may come to hate. Many of you may know how strongly I feel about these issues, some may be reading these sentiments here for the first time.
For those of you who know me well — and especially from earlier years — you know that the issue of equal rights is a central principle I apply in the way I think, act, advocate and support.
One of my first real, visceral experiences with this concept came in 1994 — I was 12 at the time, having just moved to Oregon from Northern California — and the Oregon Citizens Alliance was campaigning for Measure 13, which was against what they claimed were “special rights” for gays, lesbians and bisexuals. This wasn’t their first go at it — just two years earlier they had but forth with Measure 9; six years later they would come at it again with yet another Measure 9.
“Special rights,” by the way, was a consecrated “talking point” (or, in a pre-Frank Luntz sort of way, a phrase that would be considered on of those “words that work”) used by the radical, religious right to create fear, confusion and an excuse for discrimination. ‘Special?! why should they get something special?!’ it would go.
There was nothing “special” about the rights that were in question; it was a veiled attempt to not include discussion of homosexuality in schools. But what the OCA wanted to wrap into the discussion of basic rights — sex education, presentation of a queer life narrative and same partner benefits, for example — included things like pedophilia and “perverse activities” (which is itself subjective in many ways for those non sexually enlightened and empowered; beyond the scope of this post, suffice it to say, I am happy to take this up later if need be).
It does not get much more agenda-driven than that. Why fold in the good with the bad; why conflate a way of life (homosexuality), with a set of practices (S&M) and a completely illegal act (pedophilia)?
One need not read further than the paragraph below (from the 1992 Ballot Measure No. 9) to realize what was going on: The OCA was trying to get away with marginalizing and pathologizing homosexuality — as it has been for years in the church, the medical field, Hitler’s Germany and the height of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s — by piecing it together with (1) a lifetstyle, (2) a legally and morally wrong act and (3) perfectly acceptable sexual practices by consenting adults.
“All governments in Oregon may not use their monies or properties to promote, encourage or facilitate homosexuality, pedophilia, sadism or masochism. All levels of government, including public education systems, must assist in setting a standard for Oregon’s youth which recognizes that these behaviors are abnormal, wrong, unnatural and perverse and they are to be discouraged and avoided.”
- Oregon Ballot Measure 9 (1992)
Whoa.
That’s a little too much for my libertarian tendencies, not to mention my humanity. In 1992, Measure 9 was defeated 56 to 44 percent; two years later, 52 to 48 percent; source - Campaigns & Elections 1995. This was far too close for comfort.
Final, personal thoughts for now:
Final, political thoughts for now:
To Sen. Barack Obama: Your stance on gay rights, while progressive in some ways, falls short of what I want you to be for the real Hope and Change I have waited for since I was in middle school. It looks like I am going to have to wait for at least four more years (but hopefully not longer, perhaps maybe sooner). Your comments at Saddleback were what they needed to be for you to be politically viable:
“I am not someone who promotes same-sex marriage, but I do believe in civil unions”
You think this is the equality that was fought for during the Civil Rights Era? You think this is equal? Although this is not an issue of race, it is still a matter of personhood and being fully recognized in the eyes of the law. I hope you can see beyond the present day construct of marriage and think expansively, yet equally/appoint those who do, while you are in office (see esp. UChicago Historian George Chauncey’s book Why Marriage?).
If you think gay marriage, gay rights and the issue of a viable life trajectory for non-hetersexual indivudals is trivial, just wait. My next post will further illustrate how high I see these stakes.
To Sen. John McCain: In my research, which didn’t need to take me much past Wikipedia, I found that you spoke at a fundraiser for the OCA in 1993; source - Oregonian 1991. And while you were careful to stay “on message” regarding tolerance, you helped raise $3,000 that night. Your staff was quoted as saying this was the “invitation from hell,” which is somehow suppose to excuse the difficult position you were put in. It doesn’t. The OCA could not be further from the true Christian spirit in their discrimination, persecution and Levitical exegesis. I am hoping I have yet to come across the article that admonishes your support of this group. I also hope that you would never accept “invitations from hell” when other such prejudicial and fear-driven groups approach you in office. I am also very concerned about the kind of administrative and judicial appointments you may make during your tenure, causing temporary funding issues in areas like sex education at best (as with the Bush Administration), and, at worst, tipping the scales of the balanced Supreme Court while a decision on issues of gay rights and gay marriage are imminent.
To Sen. Joe Biden: I look forward to reading and researching more about you on this topic. I honestly have not spent enough time on researching this and will return to this topic once I have more from which to draw a conclusion.
To Gov. Sarah Palin: I also look forward to reading and researching more about you on this topic. The one piece of news circulating does point out that your adherence to the letter and semantics of Alaskan Law: “I disagree with the recent court decision because I feel as though Alaskans spoke on this issue with its overwhelming support for a Constitutional Amendment in 1998 which defined marriage as between a man and woman. But the Supreme Court has spoken and the state will abide.” (The cache shows that this was once up on the official Gov site, but now seems to be a 404). And while I normally appreciate certain Federalist/States’ Rights jurisdictions, on the issue of equal treatment, opportunity — and marriage rights — for gays and lesbians, the right is too fundamental, too inalienable to not be treated as a Federal Law. I am concerned that you will veil your personal and religious beliefs in the name of States’ Rights. I urge you to realize that this issue is bigger than that. It is not about regional preferences, it is about universal equality.
In closing, I understood it when I was 12 and feel just as convicted to this day.
At the dawn of a historic presidential race — less than 60 days away — this issue remains one of the most paramount as I go to cast my ballot for the 44th president (my favorite #, btw). Its not pressing like our economy, its life or death like equality and freedom.
What have you read? Sources/articles to add? Please do share. I want to keep this discussion open, respectful and productive. Thank you for allowing me to share so openly. More to come.
10 Responses for "Marginalized, Pathologized and Civil-Unionized. Separate is NOT Equal."
Good stuff, Leslie–my wife and I both have interesting takes on this issue. She looks at the number of divorces in the country and suggests that if we’re going to ban gay marriage, we should ban straight divorce. If marriage is so sacred, why should divorce be legal?
I know it’s one of those crazy extremes, but I think she makes a good point. This is especially true considering that there are plenty of gay couples that last longer than many straight couples. Two good friends of ours have been together for almost as long as my wife and I (and they’re both men!). TheWife and I just celebrated our 11 year together, btw.
Obviously, she’s not suggesting divorce actually be banned, but it would be a nice way to force straight couples to put their money where their mouth is.
I have another theory about this which is vaguely related to the Palin Guest Sermon video that you may have seen a few places this past week
Personally? I wonder why marriage is “legal” at all. I’m not saying marriage should be banned, but I was raised to believe that marriage is a spiritual bond between two people.
So, what’s the government doing regulating it?
Why are we even having this discussion if marriage is between you, the other person and your god?
It’s because we have laws that encourage the creation of more Americans–essentially, they’re pro-family laws that give benefits to couples for marrying and then for having kids. But if marriage is a spiritual issue, isn’t the government violating the separation of church and state (just like Sarah Palin in the pulpit)? Aren’t they endorsing a religion every time they recognize a wedding?
I say yes. I say the government should stop recognizing all marriages as such and pass laws creating a new kind of partnership. A legally binding contract between two people of any gender that serves to lessen infrastructural pressures on society and state and federal services.
I’ve read that studies have proven you live longer in a family and that your health is generally better when you’re part of a family unit. Whether it’s family or not, you use less energy, less water and less resources in general when you have roommates.
For doing all of these things you should be rewarded because you’re taking pressure off of the system. So, you get benefits that people who live alone don’t get.
Then, if you have children as a couple (as straight parents or like Melissa Etheridge and her pal or if you adopt) you get more benefits because you’re raising new Americans.
This way you remove the whole issue of what God wants (or not) and you still encourage the American system to continue.
Gays can marry and it won’t be an assault on straight marriages because if it was, you’d end up with warring sects of Christianity. Which, from a legal standpoint, has nothing to do with government.
Yet with the civil partnership contract, society and individuals would all get the same benefits married couples and society get today.
I know neither my wife’s idea nor mine would ever happen, but I think both ideas provide food for thought.
Two hard topics:
As a libertarian, what are your thoughts on the appropriate channels for this social change.
- Would you support a Supreme Court ruling on this issue that dictates the change across the states?
- Would you support a slow trickle of state legislatures endorsing this change over decades?
- Should the President rally the people to push Congress for an amendment to the Constitution?
…
“To break this down some: Ones life and ones pursuit of happiness are often linked to life partnership, aka: marriage. Ones life is also lived/understood through a personal and cultural language and lens provided by outside “norms” — it is hard to see a real life trajectory and sustained happiness when you are relegated to second class treatment.”
Practitioners of polyamory also fall outside the hetero-normative milieu.
- Should their life partnerships be recognized by the state?
- If so, should their legal relationships be described as marriage?
- If not, why wouldn’t you be inclusive and discard the understanding of marriage as between two persons? Why is it that the number of people in a marriage any less definitional that its gender makeup?
Does the word marriage mean anything definitionally as a term connected to a historical institution–or is it purely an empty political term that everyone wants to claim so they don’t feel excluded?
Those (admittedly) leading questions above might not sync personally with your personal feelings or thought processes. But it’s interesting fodder who might stumble on this conversation.
Thanks for bringing up a tough topic.
[…] you thought my last post was personal and well-thought-out (or not), just wait until you read what I have in store […]
@ThePete: Appreciate you weighing-in; also enjoyed hearing your wife’s perspective shared. Let me think on this some more with fresh eyes and get back to you.
@Leslie Thompkins: Absolutely love these questions. I have debated (both, other sides), written on and batted them around for years. Heading into the 3 AM hour, I am not on my A game enough to respond, but rest assured, I will in the coming hours (if not a day or so).
I want to also thank all those on Twitter tonight who have contacted me personally over DM and by @ messaging with thoughts, feedback and/or support. Very encouraging and I hope I can provide the same in return.
Sincerely,
Leslie
Great Leslie, looking forward to reading what you have to say.
I understand that questions are much cheaper to produce than answers.
Execellent…and very well researched, thought-out, and written article. I’m going to forward it to a gay friend of mine with which I was discussing just this issue last Saturday.
@ThePete, @Leslie Thompkins — still wanting to get back to you, need some more time to handle some things that have been coming up recently.
@Bill Bittner — Thank you for the kind words. Sharing this and knowing you have shared it forward as well makes my heart glad, complete. Not that I am looking to get on the front page of digg or anything… but rather, make a real difference in at least a few lives out there.
L.
I have such tremendous respect for your blogging. I love that you blog from the heart, and with urgency and about things that matter. Keep it up!
I believe the reason mainstream candidates do not say they are in support of gay marriage is because they realize (believe, assume?) they would not be elected if they said so.
It’s sad, but we still have a long way to go in this country.
I’m ready to vote in November, not just for Obama but also to vote no on the latest attempt to eliminate the right to marry for gays and lesbians.
Very thoughtful post.
[…] I bring to the table over 15 years of activism in the sexuality and education space, starting as early as 7th grade and marked by academic work at the University of Chicago (especially my senior thesis, […]
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